Heavy Jelly And A Bike Called Bob

Today i went a bit mad. It was raining and grey and all that but i still went a bit mad. This is what i did. I got my old bike out of the shed at the bottom of my garden, got my jogging pants on and went for a ride. It is very hilly where i live so it was hard work, no, make that HARD WORK!!!!. My face was red and i got strange looks from old ladies whizzing past on buses. WHAT'S GOING ON?? WHO'S THAT BLOKE!! My bike is a black mountain bike called Bob. He has one million gears. I had to pump his tyres up a bit and oil the chain but old Bob did ok. It was me who was huffing and puffing!! It was tough, sweaty and made my legs feel like heavy jelly. But y'know what??? I liked it. Think i'll do it again. Come on BOB!!!!

Amazing Letters From Hereford

I went to Hereford recently and had 2 great days at the Childrens Book Awards down there. It must have been good because people have been writing to me!!! I got 4 brilliant hand-written letters from Paige, Joe, Courtney and Stacey who all go to Brampton Abbotts Primary School. Paige said that i made her laugh a lot and i read 2 good poems!! Joe said that i entertained him with my jokes, he also said that even the teachers liked my stuff!!! Courtney said that everyone was laughing so much that they all had red faces!!! And Stacey said that my dancing was funny and she wished that i could come back everyday!!! Blimy O riley!!!! Great letters from great people. Thank you very much and keep smiling!!!! Thank you Brampton abbotts and ta for the toast!!

Football On The Moon

Told ya there was poem comin on!!!!

Football On The Moon

Imagine playing football
on the moon up there
you'd get stardust in your hair

If i played on the moon
i'd be delighted
to score a goal for Moonchester United

But no-one would clap
no-one would cheer
there wouldn't be much atmosphere

I'd be the amazing Astro Striker
no-one could catch
i'd even win the Moon of the Match

With all the goals i scored
all the free kicks i curled
playing football on the moon

would be out of this world

The Book Of The Moon

I am reading this amazing book. Its called The Book Of The Moon and its all about the moon. Well it would be wouldn't it!!! Its full of awesome pictures, facts and stuff. Did you know that if you drove to the moon and you went at 70 miles an hour it would take you 135 days to get there. If you walked it would take you about eight and a half years!!!!!!!!! Imagine that, walking to the moon!! If you set off and you were ten years old, then by the time you got there you'd be 18!!! WOW. You'd have to have some good boots and and take loads of sarnies with you. I have always looked at the moon, just stared at it and wondered what its all about. Oh Little Moonhead, tell me your secrets!!!!! I mean what would it be like playing football on the moon? You could play for Moonchester United. I have written lots of poems about the moon. I like that idea about playing footy up there. Hang on a minute.... i can feel another poem coming on.....

Three Cools Days

DAY ONE - Le Catuea Primary school is a school on the Army garrison in Catterick. I was there for a day. I thought i would see loads of soldiers but didn't see any. I was dissapointed. I learnt how to salute and I even brought my shiny boots!! Great day in school though. Lots of teachers with double barreld names. At ease everyone. By Your Beds.
DAY TWO - Wicked Waste Conference Sheffield. The thing about Sheffield is that i always get lost when i try to leave it. I can find it ok, but trying to get out of the city is impossible. I have to circle the world three times. HEEEELLLPP!!!! Great day at the conference. Met loads of Litterheads. Wrote a cool tune as well. DO NOT DROP YOUR LITTER. BIN IT!!!
DAY THREE - Sutton on the Forest Primary school. Only 90 people go to this school and it was great to meet them and talk to them. North Yorkshire is a beautiful place and i often stop the car when i am up there and just look out of the window at the trees and the fields and the flowers and the cows. The cows look at me like i am a bit weird though.

From Hereford and Beyond

I spent a great two days down in sunny Hereford at the Childrens Books Festival. The libraries organised it and put me in schools. I also did a session in the town hall - big and echoey and noisy!! Hereford is a nice place, lots of blue plaques on the walls of old buildings. I stayed in a nice hotel and here are Seven Things I did In The Hotel Room.
1. Spent about an hour trying to work out how to turn the telly on.
2. Ate the free chocolate chip cookies.
3. Stared out of the window.
4. Tried to write a poem but stared out of the window instead.
5. Listened to the radio.
6. Read a magazine called Welcome To Hereford - lots of cows in it.
7. Made a cup of coffee, forgot all about it and it went cold so i made another one.

I Was Never Triplets

This poem was inspired by 3 sisters i saw one day in a school. They were triplets and they were called April, May and June. Hello if you are reading this. This ones for you!!

I was never triplets
but i'd like to have been
with a sister and a brother
and me tucked inbetween

I was never triplets
2 others and me
a kind of buy 2
get 1 free

I was never triplets
never 1 of 3
but hang about, maybe i was
my mum, my dad and me.

WORLD BOOK DAY 2010

Today was World Book Day and i was in two schools. First i was in Harrogate at the Richard Taylor Primary school. The assembly was great. Eveyone was dressed up as people out of books. I saw pirates, lions, princesses, ghosts, Cinderellas and a dodgy looking plague victim!! I don't know what book that was but the scabs looked good. I had a great time so thankyou for everyone and thankyou as well to Bettys Tea room who supplied the fruitcake in the staffroom. In the afternoon i drove across to Pateley Bridge. It was a beautiful day. The sky was green, the grass was blue and, hang on a minute, we have gone upside down!! Ah well. What a lovely place it is. I got to school number 2 - St Cuthberts and did my thang!! Everyone was great and i had a right laugh. We talked about cake, cows, laughing, words and ideas. It was fabulastico!! A big THANKYOU to everyone and i hope you enjoyed WORLD BOOK DAY and much as me. Keep reading.