How To Be A Rainbow

How To Be A Rainbow

Wait for a day thats not quite sure
what it wants to do
and when that bluegrey day arrives
then its upto you...

Paint yourself across the sky
in a big upside down smile
curl yourself from cloud to cloud
for mile after mile

Dance between the rain and sun
in colours bright and bold
then at the very end of you
place a pot of gold

NEW BOOKS OUT DEAD SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

POETRY IS NOT PANTS and POETRY BURP are my new books that will be out soon. i am just finishing off Burp and then it will be ready to go to the typesetter, to make sure its all ok and the words look cool on the page and then it will go to the printers. I am looking forward to seeing the books in the flesh. i have gone though them loads of times and i am dead chuffed with them. Just hope people like them when they come out. Its still all amazing seeing a book, a real book with your name on it, still all a bit odd.

Next year will be my 10th year as a professional poet and performer. TEN YEARS!! I have never had a job that long before!! I am planning to do 10 daft things and i'll let you know what i decide.

Chickenfoot and the Magic Door

There is this bloke i know. He's called Tom Palmer. Tom, well, he's all sorts of things - a runner, a Leeds fan but mostly he writes these good books about football. You might know 'em. Well i read his blog and he has been talking about magic doorways. Tom goes running up big hills, lots of writers i know run or walk, ( why is that?) and he has to go through a gate on the tops and when he does he feels like he is entering a magical place. I got thinking about that. Where is my magic gate? Well i reckon its all to do with writing, thinking, walking and music. When i write poems i kinda go into a magic place, ( cafes and pubs mainly!!) when i think it happens as well and it happens when i walk - time dissolves and melts like butter in a pan - - and it most definitely happens when i listen to good music. Good loud music. At the mo i am listening to Chickenfoot, a loud rock band from America. Check em out, you might find your magic gate!!!! Rock n'roll doggy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Archie Andrews And His Amazing Robot Show

I am sat here with me old mate and mucka Archie Andrews. His real name is Andy but Archie suits him. He lives in Thailand but is working over here in England for a bit. He is a engineer type of bloke who has a job that i don't really understand. His favourite colour is green and his fave pie is Steak, he used to like meat and potato but he has changed. He likes robots and computers and soon wants to take over the world with his robot workshops. So if you know a teacher who wants a robot in school let me know. Here are 3 famous robots....R2D2, K9 and bender out of Futurama. Maybe I should write some robopoems!!

The Haunted Hotel

I was in Jessons Primary school on Friday, the day before half term and had a great time. All the pupils were drssed up to celebrate Book Week and i saw loads of Batman types and princesses and Spidermen and i even saw the Incredible Hulk!! The night before i stayed in a hotel in Dudley called The Station and its haunted!! I was told that by everyone!! There have special ghost nights there and see strange, spooky stuff!!Doors slam and taps get turned on for no reason, y'know all the usualt ghostly goings on!! I slept all on my own in room 104 and didn't hear anything. Some great old comedians have stayed at the Station - there is a an old boarded up theatre called the Hippodrome across the road - and i was hoping i might get haunted by one of them!! I don't really believe in ghosts but it still gave the night a bit of a zing!!! Whoooooaaaarrrgggghhh!!!!!!!!!

LIVE AT THE BRIDGEWATER HALL!!!!!!!!

My mate Terry Caffrey is the writer in res at the fantastic Bridgewater Hall in Manchester and he is away and asked me to fill in for him this week. The Bridgewater Hall is an amazing building so its a real delight to read my poems out in there. I did my first sesh with Audenshaw Primary and had a real beano!!! I am doing two more sessions and really looking forward to them. I havebeen lucky enough to have performed in some beautiful old theatres -the Buxton Opea House, The Grand in Blackpool, the Ritz in Salford and Leeds Town Hall - but the Bridgewater Hall is new ultra modern theatre and just a great place for poetry!! Mind you, anywhere is a good place for poetry to me!!!

Muddy On The Moors

I went for a walk today on a very famous moor. It was in a place called Haworth, which isn't very far from me and is famous for the Bronte sisters who wrote books years and years ago. It was really windy on the moor and kept blowing my hat off!! There were puddles and mud everywhere and i kept sinking my boots in the stuff. My boots were caked in mud and looked like they were made of chocolate that was melting in front of the fire. But it was great walk. I saw this place called the Top Withins, which is an old ruined farmhouse. I met another walker who was sheltering out of the wind. He told me that he used to be a mechanic but doesn't want to do it anymore. I asked him what he was going to do and he looked at me and told me that he was going to make a scary vampire movie!!!! Blimey!! Its amazing who you meet up on the Moors!!!

Thanks to Megan

There was this girl in Norton College who said that she laughed so much that here braces fell oyut...best thing i've ever heard about me!!!

A Life Size Model Of The World

Recently i have been all over the universe - Salford, Gateshead, Rainhill, Norton, Leeds, Bury, York, Catterick - you name it, I've been there. As well as performing my poems in all these schools i have been busy sorting out the final details of my two new books that are coming out - hopefully in November, but you can't really rush 'em, they will be ready when they are ready!!! POETRY IS NOT PANTS and POETRY BURP. As well as all the worky wordy writey type stuff i have been walking, playing the guitar a lot and singing in the bathroom. I have been watching football on the telly ( England in the Euros) and been on the radio a coupla times talking about this and that. I have been speaking to my old mate and world champion pig wrestlerAndy Amos aka Archie Andrews who told me that he wants to build a life size model of the world!!!!!! Think about that a minute...a life size model of the world.....but...hang on a mo... if it was life size....then it would be as big as the real world ...and if a model of the world was as big as the real world...where would you put it??????

Busybustbusy

This week has been a busy one. One Monday i drove to Sudbury in Suffolk which took me 5 hours from my house. Hello to Helen, Neil and Josh who made me very welcome. I went into Helen's school, Woodhall Primary and read some poems out and had a hoot. Then i drove all the way back. The day after i was up in a place called Ampleforth, in St Benedicts Primary in North Yorks. Its a beautiful place and it was glorious day , it felt like i was on holiday. I got asked some great questions there by the pupils. I got asked 'How do you make a poem funny?' and 'What makes a good poem?'. I normally get asked things like, 'Do you like fish fingers?', so these questions were brill!!!! Then on Friday i was in Huyton, near Liverpool, the place where Steven Gerrard was born. I was in Kirkby library and then in Huyton giving some Summer Reading Challenege certificates out. Then i went to Manchester and met my mate the poet Terry Caffrey for a laugh!! So a full week of driving, poetry and fun fun fun!!!!