The Twelve Blogs Of Christmas 3

Have You Heard The Moon?

Have you heard the moon?
Have you heard it sigh
as it sits collecting moondust
on its moon shelf in the sky

Have you heard the Sun?
Have you heard it sing?
as it shines the air with promises
of what the day may bring

Have you heard the wind?
Have you heard it moan?
its wicked wind chill factor
will chill you to the bone

Have you heard the rain?
Have you heard it cry?
sobbing its broken heart out
as its tears fill the sky

Have you heard the sea?
Have you heard it roar?
as it rolls and swells and slowly
waves goodbye toward the shore

The Twelve Blogs Of Christmas - 2

Did you see the moon yesterday? There was a complete lunar eclipse. It started at around half six in the morning and went on for around an hour. I was out in the big field behind my house watching it. It was ten below freezing but worth it. The last time there was a lunar eclipse on the shortest day of the year was 400 years ago. They all said that the moon went a kind of copper red. It sounds like it was a bit embarrassed by it all. Well, I'm not great with colours but it did go weird. Because of the way it happened you could really see that the moon was a ball and not just a disc like a big old dinner plate up in the sky. It was well cosmic!!

The Twelve Blogs Of Chrimbo

I have finished work for the Chrimbo breakorama!!!!!!!! The snow is still here -it looks a bit comfy if you ask me - and its getting a lot like Christmas in our house. here is my TOP TEN CHRIMBO things that i have done recently.....
1. Went to see Christmas Carol at the pictures. It was great, a bit scary at first but i loved it.
2. Watched The Polar Express. Cos its ace and you know it!!
3. Went out in Manchester with all my mates from the STREETSPEAK poetry project. It was a laugh. Terry Caffrey was on nine quid cocktails - Go on Tel!!- and Andy Winters did some amazing magic tricks!!
4. Fed the birds in our back garden - remember to feed the birds in your back garden.
5. Watched about 20 cowboy films. Now thats livin!!
6. Ate a big bowl of nuts and raisins.
7. Went shopping.
8. Had a big serious man to man conversation with my Dad about turkey, beef and pork.
9. Wrote some good poems and some dodgy ones.
10. Got a CD with traditional Christmas carols on cos they remind me of me Grandma singing in the kitchen.

Bath Time In The Back Garden

The snow looks like its on its way out. Hippeedoodle!! In my back garden this morning there was a big puddle, or a dead snowman if you like, and there were loads of birds having a bath in it. They looked like they were having a good time. They were all chirping and chatting or chirting and chapping, to a big magpie (like a baby penguin) came and stood and watched them like a lifeguard or something. He had a little whistle around his neck. Then, when all the other birds had finished and flew off back to work the magpie got in for a bath. Imagine having a bath in a muddy freezing cold puddle in the back garden. I remember bath nights when i was kid. Every Sunday night my dad would run a bath and get in, then, when he'd done, mum would get in and then my big sister, then my big brother then my other sister and then, finally me!! By the time i got in the bath it was cold and scummy!! I'd moan a bit but I'd come downstairs after and watch The Planet Of The Apes and everything was great!!!

I Wanna Be A Chuckle Brother

I wanna be a Chuckle Brother
that's what i wanna be
i know there's only 2 of 'em
but i could make it 3

I wanna be a Chuckle Brother
with Barry, Paul and me
I wanna mess about and have a laugh
and do it on TV

I wanna be a Chuckle Brother
everybody does
why don't you be a Chuckle Brother
and be like one of us

And don't worry if you're a girl
a Miss and not a Mister
just chuck away the brother bit
and be a Chuckle Sister!!

Sixteen Below Zero

Today, when i was driving around to Nowwhere, the temp gauge in my car went as low as 16 below. That's minus 16. That is colder than a fridge and about as cold as a Butchers freezer! I was like a frozen lamp chop i was!!!

The Frozen Pipes Of Poetry

Today i got up at 5.30am and spent 20 minutes scraping the ice off the car windscreen, inside as well as outside!! The temp was nine below freezing. I drove on the M62, A1 and A64 to a place called Escrick just outside York. The windscreen kept freezing up but you can't really stop on the motorway so i had to keep going. It took me about 2 hours to get there. When i got there the school was shut because of the frozen pipes!!! AAAARRRGGGHH!!! They couldn't even make me a cuppa!! Up at 5.30 in the dark and 100 miles of driving on a horrible dark frozen motorway for nothing!!!! What can you do? Well, what i did is turn around and drive back. On the way back the sun came out and the windscreen was hardly see-through-able!! I'm telling you, i was glad to get home. Snow and ice and nice if you don't have to go out and drive in them. I'm sticking to the settee to day!!! Get the kettle on will yer. Hobnobs please!!!!

How To Be A Snowflake

Flutter snowfully in the breeze
with your frosty flurry of friends

then fall like wishes on roofs and trees
that's where your journey ends

It OK to be a ball or a man
but remember never to speak

try to remain as pure as you can
and always be unique

Beware of snowploughs and of cars
they'll turn you to slush instead

remember to sparkle like the stars
when all the worlds in bed

Paint the sky with glitter
dance in the sliverblue

the winter air is bitter
with the cool surprise of you

That's how to be a snowflake
remember how it felt

then when you want to go flake
allow yourself to melt....

What Do You Know About Snow?

What is this white stuff we call snow?
Where does it come from and where does it go?
It freezes things up and stops the show
What do you know about snow?

How come it falls in a flake and not in a drop?
Is it made by a bloke in the Old Snow Shop?
Who knows when it'll start and when it'll stop?
What do yo know about snow?

What is this stuff that makes your nose go red
that makes old people stay in bed
and makes the weatherman scratch his head
What do you know about snow?

It makes you shiver, makes you freeze
and if it makes you look daft when its up to your knees
how come it looks great on Christmas trees?
What do you know about snow?

Bouncy Snowmen.

Its snowing like mad here. When i was a kiddy wink we used to sing about the snow like we'd go, snow snow go away, come back again on washing day!! Oh, hang on a mo, i think that's wrong, i think it was rain we used to go on about. Well i like rain and i like snow but which ones best? Only one way to find out FIGHT!!!!!

People have snowball fights but nobody has a rain fight do they? I mean they should. Poor rain, it feels all left out. Rain is like the bad cop and snow is the good cop. Poor little rain drop!! You can sledge in the snow and make snowmen and all that but you can't sledge in the rain can you? And you can't make a rain man. I AM THE RAIN MAN. I knew a rain man once, yeah, he was a right drip. BUM BUM. But i like all the rain words like drizzle, storm, pour and when it rains you say things like its bouncing down. Snow can't bounce can it? Imagine that, bouncy snow? The snow would hit the pavement and then bounce back up into the sky. We'd get bouncy snowmen!! Now that would be cool, that be really cool, freezing in fact!!
Yeah man.