No Kitchen

Here's the thing....we have no kitchen at the moment because Big Daz the kitchen man is fitting in a new one. There are boxes of stuff where boxes of stuff shouldn't be. We haven't got a sink, i mean where am i supposed to wash me socks?? Its nice and sunny which is a good thing because we can eat outside and pretend we are camping somewhere nice like Cornwall or up in the Lake district. I have had 2 great days at Rotherhams Childrens Book Festival. Thanks to John and Peter for driving me around and thanks to Oliver who asked me why my nose looks like a strawberry!!! I think i must have been out in the sun too long!!! Could be worse, my nose could look like a cabbage!!!

Whatever You Do Don't Mention The World Cup

Ok, I won't then!!!

Welcome To The Willowdome

I am very lucky. I get to go all over the place visiting schools. Every school i go into is different. Today went into a great school in the middle of rural Lancashire. It was right in the middle of nowhere and was beautiful. I did my thang in the Willowdome which is like a dome made out of, er, willow!! Yeah man!! It was a bit like some kind of African hut and it was brilliant. I have pictures somewhere. It was a lovely day and we made some of our own words up the Go Compare tune off the telly. It went something like-----Playing fair, playing fair, you can grin, when you win by, playing fair, the crowd are roaring when you are scoring, like a team of lions we can win by playing fair!! La La La La. There were so many ideas i was a bit discombobulated by the end of it!!!! Well done to all the Willowdomers i had a real beano!!!

Who'd Be A Goalie?

I have been watching the World Cup and loving it. I love the Bafana Bafana, the Jabalani and the Vuvuzalo's. I love watching the African teams - the noise, the fans, the colours and the craziness of it all!!!I watched the first England match against the USA and wrote this poem.

Who'd Be A Goalie

Who'd be a goalie
guarding the nets
a hero one minute
a villain the next

When you save free kicks
and penalties
everybody thinks
you're the bees knees

Jumping for crosses
brave and strong
you can't seem to do
anything wrong

But when you let
in a goal people moan
leave you standing
on your own

standing there
with your head in your gloves
you're suddenly the player
nobody loves.

That one is for Robert Green, England Goalie, because we all make mistakes but that's OK, that's why pencils have rubbers on the top!!!

You Can't Ignore A Labrador

I have been asked my the lovely people at Macmillan Childrens Books to make up some poems about dogs and puppy's and stuff like that. So here's one I wrote on a slow train to Newcastle....

You Can't ignore a Labrador
when he's rolling around the kitchen floor
when he is barking at the door
or chasing his tail or chewing his paw
he bites it till he makes it sore
but he's not bothered he's got 3 more
he loves meat, eats it raw
with his slobbering doggy jaw
the greediest dog i ever saw
he likes his lead, knows what its for
knows i keep it in the drawer
life with him is never a bore
I'll say it like i said before
you can't ignore a Labrador

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEWCASTLE LIBRARIES

Happy First Birthday Newcastle Library

I have been up in Newcastle all weekend. The fantastic library is one year old already!!! I do lots of stuff up in the North East so it was great to be asked to go up and be a part of the birthday celebrations!! I did some writing workshops with young people and talked a lot about feet and cabbage heads for some reason!! Hello to the pink drinking, deep thinking, word tinking, writing blinkers - Leasha, Lozza, George and Danny. Hello also to Judy and Crazy Kay, who used to sell wooden handbags, for sorting out a great weekend for me. There had a massive birthday card on show that included a little verse i wrote - Find yourself a birthday cake, smother it in ice, write Happy Birthday Library, and cut yourself a slice. Yeah man, well good!!