BIG TEN YEARS!!!!!!

Its official!! I have now been doing this job - not really a job is it, going round reading poems out - for ten years now!! Ten whole years as a full time professional poetry bloke. I can't believe i have got away with it!!! I have never had a job before as long as thing, never done anything for ten years. It a long time innit? 3650 days. Thats 3650 breakfasts, dinners and teas that i have eaten as a professional poetry bloke. Anyway , i'm not one to linger on whats gone before - the exciting stuff is whats in front of you - but i have done a few stats about the last ten years and here they are......

1000 plus school visits
500 libraries
Over 5000 performances
Performed to 250, 000 people
7 books published
450 poems published
2500 autographs
543 school dinners
Been on the telly 5 times
Been on the radio 50 times
400,000 miles travelled - thats about 14 times around the Earth!!!
226 scotch eggs
546 packets of crisps

I have also worn out 5 pairs of shoes , six pairs of trouses and seven shirts!!

Blimy, it really has been a ride.

So far.......

That Poetry Bloke Goes Back to School

Have a look at my new video that I just made back in my old school at Bradshaw Primary School, Halifax, West Yorkshire.

That Poetry Bloke Rhymes On The Road 2012

Pie and Pea Supper

Lets have a pie and pea supper
a supper fit for a king
then after our pie and pea supper
i know a few songs we can sing

oh for a sing-a-long supper
think of the fun it will bring
we'll all be singing our hearts out
full of the joys of spring!

All Over The Place....

I seem to have been all over the place recently. I have been in schools in Blackpool,  Sheffield and up in the North East for the Northern Childrens Book Festival. I was in Walsend, Whitley Bay and Sunderland. I have got into takng snaps wiht my fancy new phone and trying to make little films of my trips. I'll have a go at doing one for the last trip. I like learning new things but these phones are like magic boxes and can do loads of stuff so there is a lot to learn. We never had computors and stuff like that when i went to school. Young people i see in schools are BRILLIANT at all that stuff like my sons are but me.....it takes time to sink in brother!!!!!! But i'm trying!! I have also been writing a lot and selling my new book POETRY BURP. I have been on BBC Radio Leeds and BBC Radio York waffling away about who knows what so its all been busy, but good fun. Today i went for walk in the woods and the leaves were golden on the floor as the sun splintered through the trees. Hang on a mo, i feel a poem coming on.....

Noises Through The Wall

Its like this...my room at home, where i spend a lot of time doing things poets do like staring out of the window, playing the guitar when i should be writing poems, watching load of loud rock n'roll videos on YouTube and generally pretending i'm working..we... this room THE IMAGINATION STATION is nextdoor to my sons bedroom. My sons Ben and Jack spend a lot of time in their own room doing kids stuff like nose picking and pillow fighting and they also play a lot of games on the XBox. So i hear lots of noises coming through the wall. At the moment they are playing Just Cause II. I asked them what its about and i got told that 'Its a bit like James Bond except you are a bad James Bond'. Anyway it all sounds dramatic and i wonder if, when i am lost in my own mind , dreaming poems up, the noises somehow affect what i write. I'll have to keep a chec k on that. If you read a poem i wrote somewhere called 'Bad James Bond', you'll know why.....

Busy Is Better Than Not Busy

Just looked at the blogaroo and the last one i did is ages ago - maybe when the dinosaurs were alive so..i think i'd better do one. Been all over the shop in October. It normally busy so thats all grand. Got a new book out, POETRY BURP did a week in Northern ireland -which was fantastic by the way, been doing schools all over from Bolton, Blackpool, Chesterfield, Leeds, Gateshead and Sheffield. The Sheffield school is called Nether Edge and i have been in a few times. Its a GREAT school full of great people who love their poetry and its always grand to go back. So yep, been busy driving and travelling all over. Actually my mate the robot man Andy is going to work in Thailand today so i'm giving him a lift - not to Thailand but to the train station. I'd love to work across the sea again these things just seem to appear out of the blue. Fingers crossed. So thats about it really, thats some of the stuff that i've been up to oh and writing of course, always the writing. I asked a class the other day what books were full of, i thought i was going to get words, like books are full of words but this girl had a fra better answer. She said that books are full of surprises!! So now you know. So when you are writing you have to come up with these surprises, you have to be a Suprise Maker!!

What I Do When I'm Not Doing What I Do....

Because this time of year can be quiet for me and i'm not going into so many school it means i have time to do other things. Here are some of the other things i've been dong. I have got a Blackberry and am trying my best to get better at using it. Its an amazing thing really, a magic gizmo,you can get apps for it, take pix and everything man!! I'll try and put sme photos up when i can. I have aso been doing a lot, no, a load of walking. I did the Calderdale Way, a 54 mile walk all around Halifax which was fantastic. I grew up in halifax but on the walk i saw parts of it i never knew were there, so that was great. and the sun shone for 4 days!! Today i did a bit of the Kirklees Way, another big walk all around Huddersfield. When i walk i think and when i think i make stuff up so walking is great for me, what wiv being a poet like innit!!And i have been writing as lot, infact my new book POETRY BURP should be out , touch wood, in a couple of weeks so thats always exciting. I also made another radio documentary for BBC Radio Leeds called Away With Words which got on radio 4, a national station. I was dead chuffed with it. So not visiting schools every day does mean i can do other things so its all grand. The school visits take off again in a week or with schools in Rotherham, Gateshead, Blackpool, Norton and Cookridge in Leeds then i go to Belfast in Northern Ireland for a week. So back on the road soooooon!!!!

Big Blue Boat

I wrote this poem cos i liked the title and i have had it floating around in my head for a while. The first version of the poem was longer but when i looked at it i thought that they were too many words - some words i didn't need - so i got rid of them and will save them and use them in another pome on another day.

Big Blue Boat

I dreamed i sailed on a big blue boat
i sailed across the sea
thats all this poem is about
that dream, that boat and me

Thats Poetry That!!!

So the London 2012 Lympix is over and done for another 4 years. I wasn't bovvered about it to be hinest but i really got into it. did you know that in the first ever Olympics in Greece poetry writing was one of the things that they did. Imagine that now, like mo farrar sitting down and writing a poem against the clock. One of the other things i liked was when someone did an amazing thing the commentator would say 'well that was just fantastic that, it was poetry'. Y'see when something is better than good its poetry. I've always said it!!

Being Kept On My Poetic Toes...

Normally, at this time of year, all the schools break up for the big holidays and i get a bit of a rest, put my feet up and shout at the dog but this year that doesn't have seemed to have happened.
I have been doing some stuff for Leeds libraries called Breeze In The Park which are some writing events held all over Leeds, all part of a bigger project for the British Library. I have also been doing some stuff for Kirklees Summer school ( hello evryone!!) as well as a summer school event in Liverpool. I am also doing some days for Shefield libraries and North Yorks libraries over the summer so i am going to be kept on my poetic toes. All good, just hope we get some sun...

What Do You Think Of The Rain?

I am sat in my Imagination Station and I am listening to the rain. Its rained a lot. When i hear the rain i think of tiny tap dancers dancing on the petals of a blue flowers, i think of wet grass and the slugs having a disco, i think of a audience of little people giving me a round of applause. I thnik of raindrops racing down windows and of big splashy puddles full of rainbows by the side of the road.I think of soneone playing bongo drums really really far away like in the next street and i think of some sausages frying in a pan. What do you think about the rain?

I also think, if i'm being honest, when is it going to stop??

A Lot To Fit In

Here are just some of the highlights of the past coupla weeks at work. I have been all over the country, reading poems out ....went to London, to the Globe theatre and the National Science museum, slept on a scout boat in Canary Wharf, went to Newcastle and Gateshead, did 2 days recording a doc for BBC radio Leeds, went to Kent, to Tonbridge, to Dudley at the Black Country Living Museum, went to Cambridge, looked at the amazing colleges there and went for a punt on the river Cam. I have also been to Blackpool, Manchester, North Yorkshire and Knowsley libraries, all this in the last two weeks!!!
That Poetry Bloke -Taking Poetry To The Streets Where It Belongs!!!

On the Misty Mountain.

Last week i got lost up a big hill. Its a hill i have been up many times called Ingleborough and its always an adventure. It was a bit blustery when we set off, my mate Stooger came with me, but it was ok. When we got to the top it started to rain. We could have turned around and walked down but wheres the fun in that so we carried on like ancient heroes of old ( well , lets face it, you can't get ancient heroes of the future can you...) right to the top. We we walking in the sky. We were looking down on clouds. We were at the top of the beanstalk. It was a bit awesome and a bit scary at the same time. I saw a misty figure approach me. It was a man . he came upto me and said ' are you lost as well?'. It was a great day. When we we eventually got on the right path and came down we saw a bloke looking at flowers. He was a scientist. He told me that Ingleborough is 350 million years old. I thought blimy O riley, that will be a big birthday cake. Imagine all those candles. it would be like the sun....

Bread And Butter Theatre Company

Had a great day today. I was in Blackpool,at the sports centre in Stanley Park. I was MCing the Youth Games. There were 1500 young people there all doing some sporting stuff- mini tennis, golf, gymnastics... I met an international hockey player and two athletes are taking part in the Olympics this year. I also met two great blokes who are the Bread and Butter theatre company. There are called Gaz and Fran and they do these two characters that are PE teachers from the 70s. They were great, funny and clever and good to watch. Its great to meet other performers and have a chat with them. The Bread and Butter theatre company, check them out on their website now!!!!!

The Olympic Torch was here and then it wasn't.

I have just done something that i have never done before -no not the washing up - i have just seen the Olympic torch. It was coming through Huddersfield where i live so i thought i'd go and see it. They were a lot of poeple waiting by the road by the train station. It was a bit late and they were loads of policemen on motorbikes high fiving the crowd. A bit of a carnival atmosphere.A few other buses and things went past and then the torch appeared. It was being held by a lady who kind of jogged past us. I don't know if you should really be running with a burning bit of metal but there you go. The whole thing took 2 seconds and that was it. The Olympic torch was here and then it wasn't. Everybody stared walking off. A few of them were saying Is that it? But hey, i've never seen it before and might not see it again so i reckon twas a good thing to do. Anyway i had to get back because England are playing Italy in the quarter final of the Euros. Gulp. Wonder if they'll be a torch...

Look Up

I was up in Newcatsle the other day, doing some stuff up there in the posh library that they have got. I got there early and went for a cuppa. I watched people walking past and everyone looked a bit dowen in the dumps. So, as i sat there watching, i wrote a poem about looking on the bright side...

Look Up

Don't stare at your shoes
as you shuffle round town
Look up, look up, look up
when dust and dirt is all around
look up, look up, look up

When things get a little hard to bare
take a deep breath and then take care
hold you head high and keep it there
Look up, look up, look up


Look on the bright side
don't be afraid
look up, look up, look up
soon you'll fizz like lemonade
Look up, look up, look up

Step out of the shadows and into the sun
make a wish and have some fun
be the icing on life's bun
look up, look up, look up

Away With Words

I am making a documentary for BBC Radio Leeds in July. Its called away With Words and the radio is going to record me in a school for a day. I'm going to talk to the young people, like i normally do and have a laugh. I hope!!!!!! The theme of the program, got to have a theme y'see on the radio, is 'Hellos and Goodbyes'. The plan is this....i am going to go to Leeds train and bus stations, meet people and have a quick chat. Then i am going to waffle on in a poetic stylee about, well, hellos and goodbyes, then i am going into a school and write about what I've just been thinking about!! Hopefully it will be a bit more interesting to listen to then i have just made it sound and i'm really looking forward to it a lot. I love the radio, its just voices, but i have always liked listening to it, i like the pictures the voices paint in my head... I will be recording the doc over 2 days in July. The school is Field Head Carr Primary in Leeds who sound excited to be involved!!!

Hereford

Just come back from a couple of days in Hereford. I was hosting some book awards in the town hall. Its great to perform in a really big room cos your voice seems to go on forever and it can echo a lot when people laugh. Hereford and the surrounding area looks like a good place to me, lots of rolling fields and big hills that I'll have to walk up and explore. I was in hotel by the river Wye and a great old stone bridge. They were swans on the river and you could see the cathedral across the water. It was all a bit poetic. A big ta to Frankie, Julia, Rachel, Sarah and Helen for making me feel welcome and for the cups of coffee and buns.

Snail Varnish

Another pun poem coming up....

Snail Varnish

I'm onto you
you slippery snail
i've seen your
shiny, slimy trail
like a smear of snot
across the ground
that shows me where
you've been snailing around

If i want to find you
i follow the clue
of your snail varnish
that leads me to you